Right now I am on vacation. For the first time since the cruise I took with my mom the summer before last. When we got back, I started paper-chasing for the adoption. I had done all of my research, had decided on Guatemala, had decided on Gladney as my agency. I had just moved, and had not even really finished unpacking. Had lots of RFP’s to write that summer. And this past summer as well. Worked almost every weekend two summers in a row. But I had time to have a great cruise with my mom. I never in my wildest dreams would have believed that she would be dead seven months later.

I didn’t expect to be writing RFP’s last summer. I didn’t expect my mother to be dead. I didn’t expect that my adoption process would run into so many delays, and that beautiful Liana would still be in Guatemala.

I thought last summer my mom and Liana and I would be going to the beach and the zoo and the park together. That is not what happened.

I’ve been through a really really really rough time.

And now I’m on vacation with my daughter. She is mine. There is no more stress or paperwork. There are no more potential problems. Just the rest of our lives together. And we have a stress-free week together in beautiful Antigua, to celebrate the winter solstice and Christmas.

I really really need this vacation. Real life will kick in soon enough, and I think this week of stress-free rejuvenation will give me the strength to take on whatever real life has to offer.