The time has come to officially retire this blog. A lot of you have scolded me, and told me how you missed my blog. And I really had no idea how many readers I had! Just last week I ran into someone I hadn't seen in a couple of years, and he told me he had followed this blog!!!!

But after I returned to work, I just didn't seem to have time or energy to blog at all. As our lives stabilized, it seemed hard to come back here. And besides.... This was the Adoption Journey Blog! The adoption journey is over, and now we are on the journey of living and growing together as a family. I need to figure out how to get the whole thing made into a little book, for Liana to read and laugh at in future years. I loved this journey, and I loved sharing it this way with so many people.

But I decided to start fresh. So I did it. I started a new blog! Please feel free to catch up on

Liana's exciting adventures at

http://lianasadventures.blogspot.com/ !

Ok, ok. I admit it. We went to Starbucks today.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m the one who is always talking about the importance of supporting family-run businesses. I’m the one who always scoffs at trendy (or not so trendy) franchises. And yeah, I’m the one who frequently vocalizes concern for exploited labor such as coffee pickers, and who has tantrums about corporate profits at the expense of laborers, many of whom are from my daughter’s country of origin.

But it was such a cold, wet, dreary day. And Liana and I were out running errands. And it looked so nice in there through the big window, with all those comfy couches. Yeah. I’m a lightweight.

We met a really nice toddler in Starbucks. He was there with his mom and dad, who were also raising him bilingually. We hung out and had fun (in Spanish and English), and I told them about toddler happy hour at Novo’s.

Before the whole Starbucks incident, we had a really nice playdate with Saya. Then afterwards we came home, and Liana really really really enjoyed this drinkable yoghurt stuff. And it is so good for her too!!!!

Mushy slushy cold and wet

Boots, snowsuits

Is it over yet?

Achoo. Achoo.

This is one of the songs we sing in music together. It also sums up my feelings.

Going back to work for real on Monday. I actually have done quite a bit of work in recent weeks. And Liana even participated some. It is City Budget Season here in NYC, which means lots of hearings and whatnot. I went to testify at the Queens Borough Presidents office, which I do every year. My number was late in the day, and I know our Boro Pres listens to people and asks questions, and I KNEW that she would be running way behind. And I knew my 4:03 speaking time would not be until after 6:00. So I took the princess along!

Oh. And Rachid came too. Rachid is about to become a daddy, so this was good practice for him.

We got there on time, were told to expect to speak at 6:00, so we went out to dinner. When we got back, I walked her up and down the hallway while Rachid listened to some other speakers. He came out and told me when the person before me was presenting. Now the plan was that I was going to hand Liana to Rachid and he was going to hang out right behind me and everything was going to be fine.

Well, the guy in front of me finished his testimony abruptly, and when I tried to shove Liana into Rachid's arms, she resisted. Rather than coo and talk her into it while further delaying testimony for all of the folks who were behind me in line, I just put her under my arm and approached the microphone.

Borough Pres smiled, and said "I see you have some help." I nodded, explained that this was her first public testimony, but that in fact I was there to talk about blah blah blah. Liana started pulling on the microphone, and wonderful Rachid snuck up behind me. I tossed Liana at him, and he pulled out his cell phone to entertain her. At a certain point I noticed that the City Council members who bothered to stay for the late speakers were all looking behind me. I asked if my daughter was stealing the show, and actually got some giggles.

When I finished speaking, the Boro Pres actually asked insightful questions, demonstrating that she had been listening.

So yeah. The kid has been initiated. I suspect that there are more budget hearings and political meetings and events in her future.

Today was one of those idyllic mommy days. You know. The kind of day I fantasized about for so long as I imagined becoming a mom.

We slept late after a great night. Got up about 7 AM. Since it was light out, we got to open the blinds and coo and go oooh and ahhhh at the light outside and the view from the windows. Then we cuddled and laughed and carried on a bit. I put on Blue’s Clues while I made my coffee, and she remained entertained straight through my shower, sitting in her favorite chair and eating raisins out of the big box.

Then we went out for a big breakfast. Just the two of us. We had eggs and rice and beans and fried plantains and arepas. Liana is so great in restaurants. She laughed and listened to me talk and pointed at interesting things and ate and ate and ate. When she was done eating she hung out in her high chair looking at a book while I finished. Oh. And of course she bopped to the music.

So she fell asleep in her stroller while I was running some errands, and stayed asleep when we got home. It was WAY too early for her nap, but I decided we were doing a morning nap rather than an afternoon nap. When she woke up, we called a cab and went to the NY Hall of Science.!

Well we had gobs of fun there. It is a great museum for kids because there are so many interactive exhibits, and lots of buttons to press and stuff to spin and just have fun with. We spent most of the time in the toddler room, but we also ran around the main area of the museum. Liana lead the way, and I followed her pushing her stroller. She walked with such a determination, as if she were just busy busy busy with places to go and things to do. It was funny watching people watching her as she walked by. She loved the spinning circles, as usual, and the probability machine in which the balls drop down through a variety of obstacles and each one lands in a slot and the slots combined create a chart of the probability of the ball taking a given path through the obstacles. But by far the most exciting and amazing exhibit was actually in the ladies restroom. There were no paper towels, so imagine Liana’s excitement when I turned on the electric hand drier! Her eyes opened wide, and she looked deeply into my eyes to ask if such an amazing thing had captivated me too. I brought her over to put her hands under the warm blowing air, and she leapt away with surprise, but came back immediately, laughing at the absurdity of such a thing. She put her head underneath as well, and let the hot air blow her hair around. We had to run the dryer through various cycles, because it was just so exciting and there was just so much to do.

Yeah. Mommyhood is good.

Mom is not the best housekeeper. In fact, I've got pretty lousy skills in terms of cleaning all together. I'm clerically challenged, and even though I try my best, papers and other stuff start forming piles on their own.

Liana seems to be naturally tidy. I noticed in Guatemala, in the lobby of a 5-star hotel, my daughter could spot a piece of lint on the rug at 50 yards. And pick it up and hold it with great concern. And possibly then put it in her mouth... but let's not talk about that. In Liana's room I have boxes for toys, bookshelves that are toddler sized, and drawers for other stuff. Liana actually likes putting things away. The different sized books (which go on different shelves) are a bit challenging, but she makes an earnest effort.

But she does like to take things out of things as much as she likes to put them back. This morning we emptied mom's underwear drawer. Twice. We got into a drawer with important papers that probably used to be in piles somewhere, and scattered them on the floor. And we also emptied the laundry basket. We also just started self-feeding raisins out of the box, which means that there are lots of raisins on the floor.

I pay someone to come and clean my apt. The idea is to diminish stress and give me for free time. It has been 5 weeks since she started. The first week she arrived on the day agreed upon, at the agreed upon time. The next week she was 45 minutes late, making Liana and me late for our Music Together class. The following week she changed the day, with less than 12 hours notice. The next week she changed the day again. Then last week she arrived at my door to announce she was going to Mexico for what she called a week, but which looks like three weeks on my calendar. She said her sister could clean for me while she was gone, and we arranged for her sister to come on Wednesday. I called on Monday night to confirm. The sister said that she was only available on Mondays and Tuesdays, not on Wednesdays. Hmmm. Ok. I said she could come on Tuesday then. But she was not available this Tuesday. Ummm.

After much ado and several phone calls, the sister says she is coming next Monday. We will see.

I'm not feeling my stress diminished.

Music is really important to Liana. I know all kids love music, but I can tell that music is going to play a very special role in Liana’s life. She gets sooooo excited when she hears a familiar tune. She doesn’t like to eat unless music is playing. She sleeps with music on… or Gregorian chants or whatever mom is experimenting with any given week. When she sees street musicians, she goes crazy with excitement.

She loves her Music Together class. Yesterday, I tried to tell her what the plans for the day were, and I told her we were going to music class. She did not demonstrate any comprehension, so I started singing (a cappella, mind you!) the welcome song that we sing at the beginning of each class. She immediately started picked up the rhythm by slapping her thighs, the way we do when we sing that song in class. She was clearly very excited, and understood that music class was coming up.

Even though she is not really talking yet, she sometimes seems to be singing or humming. Not the familiar tunes that she loves… but tunes, it seems, that exist in her mind. Oh, what I would not give to spend an hour inside that amazing little head of hers….

Have I told you recently how much I love this little girl?

Week from hell is what it has been. I’ve had a nagging cold, leaving me cranky and low energy. The fact that I have not slept 4 consecutive hours in the past month and a half is a contributing factor. But this week, two consecutive hours of sleep has felt luxurious. Oh. And by the end of the week I did manage to pass my cold onto the squeak. Who wakes herself up coughing, and sometimes coughs so hard she vomits. And then cries hopelessly while I change sheets and whatnot.

The highlight of the week was the evening I was lounging in the living room while she slept in my bed. She woke up howling, and I ran to the room. Fans of my blog know about Liana’s obsession with closing doors and windows and drawers and whatnot. So obviously the bedroom door was closed. I ran to open it, and the doorknob came off in my hand.

Months of progress on building up Liana’s feelings of security were lost in the next twenty minutes that she spent howling on the other side of the door while I panicked and desperately tried to get in, then ran up and down the hallway looking for lights under neighbor’s doors, and finally called the super.

Poor Liana.

Today during what was supposed to be nap time, Liana obsessed over the guilty door. Is it closed? Securely closed? Can we open it easily? Over and over again she would get close to sleep, and then force herself awake and point at the door and demand to be carried over. At a certain point, my poor neglected cat sat on the other side of the door, wishing he had the freedom and the level of love and attention that he had in the pre-Liana era. When I showed Liana that the door opened, Sage came in and sat himself on his rightful corner of the bed.

Liana, who is obsessed with him, squealed with glee. I pet his head, and even got some purrs. He put his head down, and I stroked his back and let Liana pet him. She loved it. But as her hand came close to his tail, she cold not resist a little tug.

He swatted. She cried. I tried to chase him out of the room to try to get back to trying to get her to sleep. But he was being stubborn. Before being chased out, he stopped to leisurely to rub his face in a sticky old pair of shoes that were sitting on the floor.

Poor Sage.

He misses me. He misses me so much that he has to rub his face in my stinky old shoes just to remember the good times.

There is just not enough of me to go around. And I am so tired.

We went to the bookstore today, and oh my did we have a good time!

This was our first bookstore trip since we got home. There are many many many things I love about shopping and eating and socializing and hanging out in Jackson Heights, but book shopping is something we have to leave the neighborhood to do. Which is probably why I waited this long to do it.

Oh my. Book shopping is one of the great joys of life. Today I feel like I shared with my daughter a tradition passed on from my beloved parents. And I feel that she already shares my love of books, and of the written word. She responds joyfully to the rhythmic prose of so many children's books. She points to her favorite pictures, and seems to follow some simple plots. She still tries to turn the pages at her own pace... and sometimes goes in the wrong direction. Clearly the whole concept of story and letters and words and sequence are still a little too complex to grasp. But we have already established a passion for many aspects of the wonders contained in books.

And sometimes, they also taste really good.

So the doctor said it was time to take Liana off of formula and give her regular milk. Susana said that a month ago, but I waited for a doctor to tell me.

The transition yesterday seemed uneventful. I warmed the milk a bit, put in a little rice cereal, just like I did with her formula, and honestly, she didn’t seem to know the difference. Those of you who remember a few months ago when we had the oat cereal faux pax with the formula, understand why I was concerned.

The only change I’ve seen, however, is a MAJOR increase in appetite. Now Liana has odd habits. Everyone tells me to get her into routines, but she really fights routines. Some days she eats a lot. Other days, not so much. Today, however, she ate and ate and ate and ate….

7:30 AM – raisins and cheerios while mom is in the shower – sippy cup full of water too

8:00 AM – left over macaroni and cheese, followed by cantaloupe and blueberries. And some crackers. And apple juice in a sippy cup.

11:30 AM – Lunch at a nice Colombian restaurant. Mom had the soup and salad special, which came with rice and fried plantain and arepa (Colombian corn cake.) Liana at about 1/3 of a plantain. About 4-5 heaping tablespoons of rice. Some carrots from mommy’s soup. Some beets from mommy’s salad. Some yummy but unidentified root veggies from mommy’s soup. About 1/3 of a small arepa. Oh. And then lots of soup broth. Which my friend was feeding her, but she decided to throw rice onto each spoonful. Orange juice in a sippy cup.

1:00 milk instead of formula. Followed by urgent urgent urgent demands for raisins. She’s hungry again???

First doctor's visit yesterday. Liana did wonderfully. Mom was a wreck. The doctor, who is a specialist in international adoptions and problems common to adopted children, said that Liana was healthy (pending a few more tests of course), doing extremely well developmentally. She went on to say that Liana is "hyper-vigilant" but not obsessive/compulsive. I had never heard the term hyper-vigilant, but I think it is an accurate assessment. Her pre-sleep rituals (close all door, drawers, windows, etc.), the way she notices and is somewhat obsessed with something new in a room, the way that she fights sleep, etc. The doctor said that this is not uncommon in adopted children, especially those who were previously in a structured foster care situation, and then suffered the loss of the foster family. She continues to fear loss, and as a result is, well, hyper-vigilant.

The appointment was followed by Liana's first subway ride home after the doctor. She loved it! I still don't have the system down. I knew that the entrance had an elevator, but I went through the wrong door and had strangers holding the stroller on the escalator while I held Liana. But it was really a milestone. We've been running around in taxis, which we can do whenever we need to. But it is good to know that the train is do-able. The 74th street stop, junction of the E, F, R, G, V and 7 trains, has an elevator. The 82nd street stop, which is closer to home, does not have an elevator. So I'll be using the 74th street station for a while.

The buses are do-able too. However, I will have to have the stroller folded and over my shoulder to get on the bus. The stroller (everyone told me to get the McClaren!) weighs 11 pounds, and supposedly can be folded with one hand. I can't fold it at all without assistance, but in time I'll have all of my systems down. By the summer I am sure that Liana will be able to walk up and down the bus steps while holding my hand, and step onto the escalators while holding my hand, and I'll be able to toss the 11 pound stroller over my shoulder and we'll be off!

In other news, we are starting daycare on Monday. I'm a wreck. We are just doing three short days a week to start. After looking at a gazillion places with lots of different options, I decided on a small, in-home licensed day care in the neighborhood. We are going to try it out, and see how it goes. The woman speaks Spanish with the kids, and is a sort of grandmotherly type. Liana adored her immediately. They danced cumbia, which of course was a hit. The living room is set up all for daycare... with little tables and little chairs and lots of toys. She takes care of two 2-year olds and a 4-year old. The ages of the kids are very similar to the ages of the kids in Liana's foster care, so I hope she feels comfortable. I told the woman about the problems with Liana and sleep, and she sniffed. She has little hammock/cots for the kids. She says she feeds them lunch, leads them in, dims the light, tucks them in and they sleep. Period. Liana worships older kids, so I am hoping when she sees them sleeping she will sleep.

Wish me luck. And calm. And eventually, sleep for all!

Well my new favorite weekly event is toddler happy hour at Novo!!

What fun!

Parents and toddlers and great drinks and yummy food and a plush yet comfortable environment! Who could ask for more? At peak time, there were certainly more than a dozen toddlers and at least 20 parents. A great mess is made, but the staff take it all in stride.

Haven't taken Liana out to a bar at night since we got to NY. (Haha. Orinal blog readers will know all about taking Liana to the lounge bar in the Marriott and off to live Marimba events in Antigua) But now it looks like we have a weekly event! And I really like Novo. And since they are so very friendly to kids, (Liana and Linda and I went there a couple of weeks ago and Liana threw a plate and broke it and they were very nice) I might even try going there on one of the nights that they have live music. Been meaning to try out live music nights at Natives too. They say they are kid friendly.

But toddler happy hour is a kick! Liana, when alone with me, is needy. She must be held and entertained and played with. In a crowd, however, the kid is a regular social butterfly. She can wander socially from table to table, doing the toddler equivalent of small talk. Or she can coyly hold her drink (pineapple juice in a sippy cup) and watch the activities from a seat or corner. No one could believe she had only been in the country a month. She looked like she attended affairs like this all the time. And on a certain level, I guess she did! She lived in busy foster home with lots of kids and extended family wandering in and out all the time.

We woke up this morning, and the first thing Liana said was "You know mom, we've lived in NY a month already, and you've never even taken me to Times Square. I mean, kids from Minnesota come to NY for three days and get to go to Times Square. So what's up mom?

Well, maybe she didn't say it quite like that.

Actually, Liana doesn't really talk much at all. But I'm pretty sure that is what she would have said to me this morning if she could talk.

So off we went to the Times Square Toys R Us.

The ferris wheel was kind of odd and intimidating. Actually the shelves were the best part. She picked out another really ugly doll. This one says mama and makes different faces. I also got her an aquadoodle, and some refrigerator magnets and diaper bags. Mostly we went because we are always in search of indoor activities that are warm and entertaining.

Liana is on the move, and exploration is the name of the game.

Mommy is exploring too.

Exploring day care/nursery school/nanny/babysitter is much more complex than I imagined. The options are much more limited than I thought. I had really been sort of imagining nanny/babysitter as the option that would be easiest on Liana. But that was before I went to Guatemala. Liana is really a people person. She LOVES being around kids. After a playdate, or our Music Together class, her spirits are high. She sleeps with relative ease. And she is just calmer.

So now I'm thinking it would really be better to do a nursery school/daycare. But most decent places, at least the ones right here in the neighborhood, seem to be for kids two years and up.

At first I thought I was going to do a hybrid, mixing some formal group time with a babysitter on some days or for half days. But of course schools have their rules and schedules. Babysitters have their needs. And quite frankly, Liana demands hands on attention every waking hour. So basically I need a babysitter to find a babysitter.

Moms at play areas that we have visited, (Hall of Science, downstairs in Queens Mall, Travis Par on the couple of days that were warm enough to go there) have commented that Liana is "very active" and has "lots of energy." I've noticed that other kids seem to stop sometimes. Liana never stops. Never. Except when she is sleeping. Which as my loyal readers know, is a constant issue for us.

My dad loved movies. And he loved food. And he loved creating rituals around movies and food.

When my parents were first dating, apparently, he created “theme” dates. They would go see an Italian movie, and then eat Italian food. French movie, French food. Sometimes they were really broke, and didn’t have enough for dinner AND a movie, so they might see a movie about Germany, and then drink a German beer.

I’ve written on this blog a bit about the fun that I used to have with my dad at animated movies as a little girl. In later years he had an extraordinarily large collection of movies on tape… first the Betas, then the VHS’s. Thousands and thousands of movies. Before that, he would bring projectors home from the college library, and set up a screen and movies in the living room. He loved almost everything. Odd, artsy, intellectual movies, of course. Movies with a political theme, of course. Animation and cartoons, as I’ve told you about earlier. Sci fi. Drama. Comedies. What he used to call B-movies. Hit movies. Old movies. Movies that everyone else hated.

He really loved movies.

And food.

One of my fondest memories of my dad was our “crab” ritual. We did it two or three times a year. He and I both love steamed crabs. He likes the bodies best. I like the legs and claws the best. So we made the perfect team. He ate the bodies. I ate the legs and claws.

So a few times a year my dad would buy two or three dozen crab, (yes, that is 23-36 crab!), depending on the size, and steam them in red peppers and beer. Then we would select a triple feature. Yes, three movies. Grouped thematically. The Alien trilogy was always a good bet, which we did at least once a year, as was the Godfather trilogy, which mom liked much more than Alien. Sometimes we grouped things according to theme, like a sacrilegious trilogy, consisting of Jesus Christ Superstar, The Last Temptation of Christ, and I don’t even know. Something else. Or a “retrospective of the decades of my parents’ lives” trilogy, consisting of Forrest Gump, This Time Next Year, and I don’t know… something else.

And then we would spread newspaper all over the coffee table, get out nutcrackers and bowls to put the shells in, open up a nice bottle of dark beer each, and sit and eat crab and drink beer and watch a triple feature. Literally for hours and hours and hours. Eating crab out of the shell is a lot of work, and it takes quite a while to get a lot of food. My mom would eat one or two crab, scold us if we got messy, and try and make us eat salad and vegetables of some sort along with the crab ritual. The whole event was not her thing. But she liked that it was something that my dad and I did together.

Last night Liana and I had our third “Pizza Party.” I ordered up pizza, put the high chair in the living room, and put on a movie that we both enjoy. Two of our three Pizza Parties have included guests. Which is nice.

But this is our first food/movie ritual.

I hope to create many rituals/traditions to share together. This is one of the first.

Is it spring yet?

I am so so so tired of wrapping the kid up in layers of cloth and plastic and heading out on the street to run errands. And she is not delighted about being on the other side of plastic. Hats, as we have previously discussed, are not an option. Mittens? Surely you jest.

But we do love to go out. And mom and Liana are starting to go a little stir crazy. We've done trips to the Hall of Science, which is lots of fun. Trips to the mall, to run around in the warmth. And lots and lots of trips running around the neighborhood in the cold.

When we enter a store, Liana wants the plastic off. Now. Now. Take it off NOW. Then there is always a bit of a struggle to bundle her back up when we go outside. I left the plastic on the other day because I just needed to grab one item at the pharmacy and run out, and she was fussing and a man scolded me and explained that she was getting overheated.

Is it at least almost Spring?

Today, for the second time, I was approached by someone who knew Liana. From this blog!!!! How funny is that? I have a Jackson Heights readership!

**Waves to all of my neighbors**

You know, a year ago I was spending my evenings gazing fondly at pictures of the beautiful

little girl who would become my daughter. She looked so bright and alert and I was fighting so hard not to fall in love with the pictures. That fight was a losing battle.

I was trying to protect myself emotionally. A lot of things can go wrong in any adoption. I had done my research, and I knew that Guatemalan adoptions could be full of negative surprises, like the horrors faced by the families on Dateline NBC the other night. I was confidant that I had picked a solid agency. I knew that kidnapped children and scamming facilitators, like those featured on Dateline the other night, were sometimes realities. I knew that more often, however, birthmothers, who are required to sign off on the adoption 4 times, change their minds. I know quite a few families who had fallen in love with a picture, only to find out that the child they had grown to love would not become a member of that family. I also knew that on the forums that I frequent, at least once a month a prospective adoptive family reports that the child they had fallen in love with had died.

One in five children born in Guatemala dies before reaching his/her fifth birthday. Kids waiting to be adopted probably have a better chance. The prospective adoptive families are paying, (through the attorney fees), for clean water and baby formula and regular medical care. And emergency medical care.

Last year at this time, I was trying not to fall in love with these beautiful pictures. And I was waiting for the medical information on this beautiful baby. And waiting. And waiting. And calling and following up and wondering why I was not getting the medical information.

I did not know it, but this time last year Liana was in the hospital with rotovirus. Lots of babies in Guatemala die of rotovirus. Liana was in the hospital for three nights. She was hooked up to an IV. Ultimately, her hospital bills were paid by my fees. But no one told me about her hospitalization until almost a year later, when her foster family (the wonderful people who cared for her the first 13 months of her life) told me this story.

So yeah, this time last year I was falling in love with these photos. Liana was in the hospital. But our story has a happy ending.

Actually, a happy beginning.

Is there anything more beautiful than a sleeping baby?

Nap time is mommy time. Well, sort of. Time to do fun things like empty the dishwasher, read my mail, and of course,

play on the computer!

Today I also put together a little keyboard that I bought for the princess. Well, almost put it together. I need a screwdriver to open the place where I have to put the batteries. *Sigh*

As soon as the princess wakes up, (which will be very very soon!) we have a playdate! Wish us fun.

I believe that future generations will ponder, and ask many important social, political and philosophical questions about our era. Did anyone in the administration ever believe that they were really looking for weapons of mass destruction? What are the long-term social benefits of corporate welfare? Does the electoral college best represent the concept of "democracy?" And perhaps, most importantly, "How did people engage in parenting activities before YouTube?"

I mean, when I need to motivate Liana to take a bath, I find some vintage Sesame Street videos of "Rubber Duckie" and we all sing along, clutching our own beloved rubber duckie. While mommy is preparing dinner and has Liana trapped in her high chair and securely out of trouble, what could be more fun that watching a bunch of videos of ABC songs? Madonna sings "The Wheels on the Bus?" Who knew? And it is even Liana's favorite version of that piece, after having listened to at least a dozen variations on YouTube. Time to try and get mellow as dinner is coming to an end and bedtime is approaching? How about some videos of dolphins! Liana loves vidoes of dolphins. And kittens. We love videos of kittens doing naughty things.

TV shows are way too long. Even Blue's Clues (which I love) and Dora and whatnot. But most YouTube segments seem to be about 3 minutes. And Liana loves to watch her favorites over and over again. Liana loves watching videos of Antigua, Guatemala, where she and I lived for two months. She gets all excited when the horses appear, but most of all she bounces enthusiastically whenever any Marimba appears in a video of Guatemala. Now I have to tell you, given the wild nightlife of Antigua, an evening of live Marimba, (and a glass of wine for mommy!) was great. But if I were to go the rest of my life without hearing Marimba again, I would not feel that I had missed out on anything. If it were not for Marimba appearing over and over again on YouTube videos of Guatemala, I would have completely forgotten how excited she gets by Marimba, and honestly, Marimba would not have continued to be a part of our lives.

So how did parents do it before YouTube?

Sleeptime continues to offer a little high drama. I'm working hard on the routine stuff. At this point night time sleep rituals consist of getting into our pj's, brushing our teeth, picking out a book, going to mommy's bed with bottle and book in hand, carefully and obsessively closing all doors and drawers and window blinds and whatnot, (this is Liana's obsession, not mine), reading the book, helping mommy turn off the light, drinking bottle (yeah, I know that bottle in bed is almost considered child abuse in this country, but Liana has been going to be with a bottle since birth, and given our sleep drama, I'm not going to fight that battle now), and then we wait. Sometimes, the wonderful times, she is asleep after 15 minutes of cuddling. Normally more like 45 minutes. Sometimes two hours.

Really.

Oh. And I cannot leave the room. If I get up, she screams wildly.

I know that most of us, myself included, were left in our cribs to cry it out. Liana never slept in a crib, which futher complicates stuff. She slept with her foster mom, and now she sleeps with me. Some day, I hope, she will sleep in her wonderful toddler bed. With adopted kids, there is a whole school of thought about the cry-it-out method. Basically, a child who feels as if she has been abandoned, first by her birth mom, then by her foster mom, is in fear of being abandoned again. Therefore, it is important to make the child feel safe. Leaving her screaming in bed will make her feel that she has been abandoned again.

**Sigh**

Bathtime, however, has greatly improved. Here is proof of the little princess waiting for bathtime.

I've got to tell you what a funny kid Liana is. And what an excellent problem solver!!! Liana is not really good at shapes. So one of my shower presents was a "requested" shape sorter. You know, the plastic thing you put over the top of a box, with a hole that fits a circle and a hole that fits a square and a hole that fits a star, etc., etc.

So Liana and I sat on the floor with the little plastic shaped pieces. She took a circle, and tried to fit it in the square. I watched, and allowed her to explore. She was starting to get frustrated, so I directed her to the circle, and she dropped it in successfully. I gave her another circle, and she put it in the circle hole immediately. Then she picked up a triangle and tried to put it in the circle hole. She moved it around and tried different angles and started getting frustrated. I directed her to the hole for the triangle. She had to move it around a bit, but it fit, and went in. Then she picked up a square, and tried to put it in the circle hole. That clearly didn't work. Then she tried the triangle hole. She shifted it and moved it and it still didn't fit.

So she lifted the plastic sorter off the top of the box, put all the circles and squares and triangles and stars directly into the box, and the put the sorter back on top.

Ummm. I guess if the goal was to put the shaped items in the box, that was a much better solution to the problem, huh?

Liana and I enrolled in a "Music Together" class this morning, and it was LOTS OF FUN!!! I had been looking for something to build on Liana's clear passion for music, and I stumbled across this course on the Jackson Heights forum. And it is literally half a block from home, at the United Methodist Church. (For those of you who don't know, this church is the place where the game Scrabble was created!!!!)

The whole thing was such a new and foreign experience for me that much of it is a blur. We arrived in our stroller, all bundled up. Others kids in strollers were arriving while others were leaving. We had to park the strollers downstairs, and the walk up. Lots of moms and a few dads and grandparents and friends were there with the kids, whose age ranged from I think 9 months to almost 3 years. So it was perfect for Liana. The teacher was exceptionally welcoming and dynamic and funny and fun. We experimented with rhythm and later tone and pitch. We moved around a lot, and even got to play with some instruments. Liana enjoyed the activities for the most part, but towards the end of the hour she was starting to feel insecure and was pointing towards the door. But she clearly enjoyed seeing the other kids, and very much enjoyed the music.

Now I need to find something like this, which is age appropriate, to nurture her interest in the visual arts! Readers? I'm open to suggestions!!!!!

Well I came across a new forum on Jackson Heights a couple of days ago. Being a big fan of the nation's most ethnically and linguistically diverse neighborhood, I started going through the forum to see all the different topics. When I got to a thread about adoptive families in Jackson Heights, I of course, clicked on the link.

Imagine my suprise to see MY BLOG included and linked to forum readers!!!

Actually, I am quite flattered by my diverse readership. Obviously family and friends are my primary readers. Got a pretty dedicated reading base at work. I am really awed by the number of readers I have from my Guatemalan adoption forum. New friends in Guatemala. And then there are the friends of friends. I understand I have a following in London! So why shouldn't I have a Jackson Heights readership?

So I promise that I will tell lots of neighborhood stories, especially once the weather gets better and I am out and about more. These days we are really sort of homebodies.

Have I told you how much Liana loves her favorite chair?

Well for those of you who don't know, I did not make it to Friday's meeting. I was dressed and ready to go, but the princess is teething and in pain and cranky and was really really really insecure. I could not step out of the room to put on a pair of socks without her screaming as if my sweet neighbor Antonia was torturing her. You know, it was also just way too soon.

Tomorrow we are expecting our first big snowstorm since we have been in NY. In other words, Liana's first snow!!!!

Now we have not be very successful in terms of hats and gloves, as documented in these photos.

See Liana in her pretty faux fur coat.

See Liana in her pretty faux fur matching hat.

See Liana having quickly removed her pretty faux fur hat.

Hats stay on for literally seconds. Mittens have been known to stay on for more than a minute... but not much more.

Did some major grocery shopping yesterday, and all ready to be snowed in tomorrow. My one regret is that I do not have one of those circle things on a piece of rope that you pull while the kid sits on the circle thing. Ah well. Next storm.

Well, tomorrow is my first full-day at work. And Liana is staying with my wonderful neighbor Antonia.

Now I am NOT back at work for quite a while yet, but there is an important meeting tomorrow.

I am a nervous wreck. I'm sure she will be fine.

My new favorite movie is Happy Feet. When I was a little girl, my dad used to take me to the theater to see animated movies. I think Disney was the only option in those days. My dad loved animation, and we would sit and watch the same movie over and over again. We would eat chocolate and popcorn, and he would stand nervously outside of the bathroom, and send old ladies in after me to find out why I was taking so long. On the drive home he would tell me all about animation... about how hard the artists worked. How talented they were, and how poorly they were paid. At home, he would draw stick figures over and over and over again on a pad of paper, and each image would move just a little bit. Then he would flip the pages, and the stick figures would dance for me. He would emphasize again how much work it was to make just a little image move for just a few seconds, and then wax poetic about the work that went into a color, full length feature.

Animation today is computerized. No exploited artists sitting over tables painting cell after cell. And movie viewing with the kids is a different experience. We did pizza night again, (going to be a weekly tradition) and watched Happy Feet in front of the TV. But oh..... my dad would have LOVED Happy Feet. Did they make kids movies that smart when I was a kid? This movie was so profound on so many levels. It was about art and science and morality and conformity and the dangers of dogma and the effects of waste and so much else. And it was also really really really cute. And the protagonist was a really smart, creative, marginalized social outcast. How much would my dad have identified with that?

So yeah. Mommyhood is good. And my world is upsidedown. The evening of the New Hampshire primaries, I knew nothing about the exit polls. I spent the evening with penguins. For better or worse, huh?

Oh my. I forgot to tell you about our Three Kings Day surprise!

I was making breakfast for Liana when my doorbell rang. I went to answer the door, and no one was there. Instead, there was a bag full of goodies, and a Happy Three Kings Day card!!!

Liana got this gorgeous new outfit (seen in this pic) as well as the doll, a plate with animals on it, some decorative stuff, and mommy got some newspaper clippings!

I knocked on my neighbor's door, and sure enough, she fessed up. She did, however, express concern that Liana had not set out her shoes and hay in anticipation of the events, and made me promise that I would not let Liana forget next year.

Well, we continue to eat well. All fruits, as well as a variety of vegetarian protein sources continue to please the princess. Here she is enjoying some tofu! And bulgur wheat! All corn-based products continue to be favorites. I've really got to figure out how to incorporate corn tortillas into our diet on a regular basis. Tamales... well... I've got to tell you. I'm not making tamales. But there is frequently a nice lady who sells tamales on Roosevelt Ave by the train station, so we need to visit her on a regular basis. Have not tried arepas yet, (arepas are Colombian corn patties, served with cheese and butter), but I am sure they will be a hit.

Now when I say that Liana loves all fruit, it seems that she, in fact, loves ALL fruit. Today Liana and I went out to brunch with a friend. She's been a little cranky, (lack of sleep!) and I was just delighted to be engaged in adult conversation. So she was sitting in her high chair, and not seeming to be amused by any of the toys that I hauled to the restaurant with me, so I took the lemon slice, (more like a quarter of a lemon, I guess) from my club soda and handed it to her for her own amusement. Much to my surprise, she bit right in. And made that funny "oh my! that is a lemon and it is bitter!" face. And then bit in again. And made the face again. And bit in again. Face again. Sorry folks, I did not have a camera on hand. But she was so amusing that an entire table of 4 people sitting near us stopped eating and talking, and just entertained themselves watching her lemon eating antics, and exclaiming about how cute she is.

Yeah. She is a cute kid.

Well, the Liana/Sage drama continues. She continues to love and fear him. He continues to be irritated, but increasingly accepting of his new lot. Poor guy. Periodically he swats at her, and she weeps. How could he not love her? She does not understand.

Well we are finally starting to get some sleep. When Liana got to NY, she basically stopped taking naps. In Guatemala she slept 1- 2 hours every afternoon. And instead of sleeping 11-12 hours per night, she was sleeping more like 8 or 9 hours. But those hours were not consecutive. In other words, she would sleep an hour, cry and hour and a half, sleep an hour and a half, wake up, eat, fuss for an hour, sleep an hour, wake up…blah blah blah. Mommy has been exhausted.

We are still having a lot of drama around going to sleep. I am trying to help her develop going-to-sleep rituals that work for her. Oddly one of the rituals that is very very important to her is closing all doors, windows, drawers, etc. She was into this in Guatemala as well. And sometimes she is almost asleep, and she wakes herself up and insists on making me pick her up and check that the door is really securely closed.

Now I like the doors and windows open. So does Sage, who likes to wander in and out at will. Sometimes he will stand on the outside of the closed bedroom door and howl to be let in. Which, as you might imagine, is disruptive to the princess’s sleep.

Liana is still sleeping in my bed, and I think she will be for a while. Sometimes I toss her in her bed after she is asleep. She likes waking up in her bed, which is good. She also likes the fact that she can get up and out of her bed, and then go off and do other things. But she absolutely does not like going to sleep there. Little by little. I imagine eventually having her go to sleep in her bed, and if she wakes up in the night and is scared she can then walk to my room, and I could put a little step stool there so that she could crawl into my bed if she needs to.

Yup. Little by little.