The time has come to officially retire this blog. A lot of you have scolded me, and told me how you missed my blog. And I really had no idea how many readers I had! Just last week I ran into someone I hadn't seen in a couple of years, and he told me he had followed this blog!!!!

But after I returned to work, I just didn't seem to have time or energy to blog at all. As our lives stabilized, it seemed hard to come back here. And besides.... This was the Adoption Journey Blog! The adoption journey is over, and now we are on the journey of living and growing together as a family. I need to figure out how to get the whole thing made into a little book, for Liana to read and laugh at in future years. I loved this journey, and I loved sharing it this way with so many people.

But I decided to start fresh. So I did it. I started a new blog! Please feel free to catch up on

Liana's exciting adventures at

http://lianasadventures.blogspot.com/ !

Ok, ok. I admit it. We went to Starbucks today.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m the one who is always talking about the importance of supporting family-run businesses. I’m the one who always scoffs at trendy (or not so trendy) franchises. And yeah, I’m the one who frequently vocalizes concern for exploited labor such as coffee pickers, and who has tantrums about corporate profits at the expense of laborers, many of whom are from my daughter’s country of origin.

But it was such a cold, wet, dreary day. And Liana and I were out running errands. And it looked so nice in there through the big window, with all those comfy couches. Yeah. I’m a lightweight.

We met a really nice toddler in Starbucks. He was there with his mom and dad, who were also raising him bilingually. We hung out and had fun (in Spanish and English), and I told them about toddler happy hour at Novo’s.

Before the whole Starbucks incident, we had a really nice playdate with Saya. Then afterwards we came home, and Liana really really really enjoyed this drinkable yoghurt stuff. And it is so good for her too!!!!

Mushy slushy cold and wet

Boots, snowsuits

Is it over yet?

Achoo. Achoo.

This is one of the songs we sing in music together. It also sums up my feelings.

Going back to work for real on Monday. I actually have done quite a bit of work in recent weeks. And Liana even participated some. It is City Budget Season here in NYC, which means lots of hearings and whatnot. I went to testify at the Queens Borough Presidents office, which I do every year. My number was late in the day, and I know our Boro Pres listens to people and asks questions, and I KNEW that she would be running way behind. And I knew my 4:03 speaking time would not be until after 6:00. So I took the princess along!

Oh. And Rachid came too. Rachid is about to become a daddy, so this was good practice for him.

We got there on time, were told to expect to speak at 6:00, so we went out to dinner. When we got back, I walked her up and down the hallway while Rachid listened to some other speakers. He came out and told me when the person before me was presenting. Now the plan was that I was going to hand Liana to Rachid and he was going to hang out right behind me and everything was going to be fine.

Well, the guy in front of me finished his testimony abruptly, and when I tried to shove Liana into Rachid's arms, she resisted. Rather than coo and talk her into it while further delaying testimony for all of the folks who were behind me in line, I just put her under my arm and approached the microphone.

Borough Pres smiled, and said "I see you have some help." I nodded, explained that this was her first public testimony, but that in fact I was there to talk about blah blah blah. Liana started pulling on the microphone, and wonderful Rachid snuck up behind me. I tossed Liana at him, and he pulled out his cell phone to entertain her. At a certain point I noticed that the City Council members who bothered to stay for the late speakers were all looking behind me. I asked if my daughter was stealing the show, and actually got some giggles.

When I finished speaking, the Boro Pres actually asked insightful questions, demonstrating that she had been listening.

So yeah. The kid has been initiated. I suspect that there are more budget hearings and political meetings and events in her future.

Today was one of those idyllic mommy days. You know. The kind of day I fantasized about for so long as I imagined becoming a mom.

We slept late after a great night. Got up about 7 AM. Since it was light out, we got to open the blinds and coo and go oooh and ahhhh at the light outside and the view from the windows. Then we cuddled and laughed and carried on a bit. I put on Blue’s Clues while I made my coffee, and she remained entertained straight through my shower, sitting in her favorite chair and eating raisins out of the big box.

Then we went out for a big breakfast. Just the two of us. We had eggs and rice and beans and fried plantains and arepas. Liana is so great in restaurants. She laughed and listened to me talk and pointed at interesting things and ate and ate and ate. When she was done eating she hung out in her high chair looking at a book while I finished. Oh. And of course she bopped to the music.

So she fell asleep in her stroller while I was running some errands, and stayed asleep when we got home. It was WAY too early for her nap, but I decided we were doing a morning nap rather than an afternoon nap. When she woke up, we called a cab and went to the NY Hall of Science.!

Well we had gobs of fun there. It is a great museum for kids because there are so many interactive exhibits, and lots of buttons to press and stuff to spin and just have fun with. We spent most of the time in the toddler room, but we also ran around the main area of the museum. Liana lead the way, and I followed her pushing her stroller. She walked with such a determination, as if she were just busy busy busy with places to go and things to do. It was funny watching people watching her as she walked by. She loved the spinning circles, as usual, and the probability machine in which the balls drop down through a variety of obstacles and each one lands in a slot and the slots combined create a chart of the probability of the ball taking a given path through the obstacles. But by far the most exciting and amazing exhibit was actually in the ladies restroom. There were no paper towels, so imagine Liana’s excitement when I turned on the electric hand drier! Her eyes opened wide, and she looked deeply into my eyes to ask if such an amazing thing had captivated me too. I brought her over to put her hands under the warm blowing air, and she leapt away with surprise, but came back immediately, laughing at the absurdity of such a thing. She put her head underneath as well, and let the hot air blow her hair around. We had to run the dryer through various cycles, because it was just so exciting and there was just so much to do.

Yeah. Mommyhood is good.

Mom is not the best housekeeper. In fact, I've got pretty lousy skills in terms of cleaning all together. I'm clerically challenged, and even though I try my best, papers and other stuff start forming piles on their own.

Liana seems to be naturally tidy. I noticed in Guatemala, in the lobby of a 5-star hotel, my daughter could spot a piece of lint on the rug at 50 yards. And pick it up and hold it with great concern. And possibly then put it in her mouth... but let's not talk about that. In Liana's room I have boxes for toys, bookshelves that are toddler sized, and drawers for other stuff. Liana actually likes putting things away. The different sized books (which go on different shelves) are a bit challenging, but she makes an earnest effort.

But she does like to take things out of things as much as she likes to put them back. This morning we emptied mom's underwear drawer. Twice. We got into a drawer with important papers that probably used to be in piles somewhere, and scattered them on the floor. And we also emptied the laundry basket. We also just started self-feeding raisins out of the box, which means that there are lots of raisins on the floor.

I pay someone to come and clean my apt. The idea is to diminish stress and give me for free time. It has been 5 weeks since she started. The first week she arrived on the day agreed upon, at the agreed upon time. The next week she was 45 minutes late, making Liana and me late for our Music Together class. The following week she changed the day, with less than 12 hours notice. The next week she changed the day again. Then last week she arrived at my door to announce she was going to Mexico for what she called a week, but which looks like three weeks on my calendar. She said her sister could clean for me while she was gone, and we arranged for her sister to come on Wednesday. I called on Monday night to confirm. The sister said that she was only available on Mondays and Tuesdays, not on Wednesdays. Hmmm. Ok. I said she could come on Tuesday then. But she was not available this Tuesday. Ummm.

After much ado and several phone calls, the sister says she is coming next Monday. We will see.

I'm not feeling my stress diminished.

Music is really important to Liana. I know all kids love music, but I can tell that music is going to play a very special role in Liana’s life. She gets sooooo excited when she hears a familiar tune. She doesn’t like to eat unless music is playing. She sleeps with music on… or Gregorian chants or whatever mom is experimenting with any given week. When she sees street musicians, she goes crazy with excitement.

She loves her Music Together class. Yesterday, I tried to tell her what the plans for the day were, and I told her we were going to music class. She did not demonstrate any comprehension, so I started singing (a cappella, mind you!) the welcome song that we sing at the beginning of each class. She immediately started picked up the rhythm by slapping her thighs, the way we do when we sing that song in class. She was clearly very excited, and understood that music class was coming up.

Even though she is not really talking yet, she sometimes seems to be singing or humming. Not the familiar tunes that she loves… but tunes, it seems, that exist in her mind. Oh, what I would not give to spend an hour inside that amazing little head of hers….

Have I told you recently how much I love this little girl?

Week from hell is what it has been. I’ve had a nagging cold, leaving me cranky and low energy. The fact that I have not slept 4 consecutive hours in the past month and a half is a contributing factor. But this week, two consecutive hours of sleep has felt luxurious. Oh. And by the end of the week I did manage to pass my cold onto the squeak. Who wakes herself up coughing, and sometimes coughs so hard she vomits. And then cries hopelessly while I change sheets and whatnot.

The highlight of the week was the evening I was lounging in the living room while she slept in my bed. She woke up howling, and I ran to the room. Fans of my blog know about Liana’s obsession with closing doors and windows and drawers and whatnot. So obviously the bedroom door was closed. I ran to open it, and the doorknob came off in my hand.

Months of progress on building up Liana’s feelings of security were lost in the next twenty minutes that she spent howling on the other side of the door while I panicked and desperately tried to get in, then ran up and down the hallway looking for lights under neighbor’s doors, and finally called the super.

Poor Liana.

Today during what was supposed to be nap time, Liana obsessed over the guilty door. Is it closed? Securely closed? Can we open it easily? Over and over again she would get close to sleep, and then force herself awake and point at the door and demand to be carried over. At a certain point, my poor neglected cat sat on the other side of the door, wishing he had the freedom and the level of love and attention that he had in the pre-Liana era. When I showed Liana that the door opened, Sage came in and sat himself on his rightful corner of the bed.

Liana, who is obsessed with him, squealed with glee. I pet his head, and even got some purrs. He put his head down, and I stroked his back and let Liana pet him. She loved it. But as her hand came close to his tail, she cold not resist a little tug.

He swatted. She cried. I tried to chase him out of the room to try to get back to trying to get her to sleep. But he was being stubborn. Before being chased out, he stopped to leisurely to rub his face in a sticky old pair of shoes that were sitting on the floor.

Poor Sage.

He misses me. He misses me so much that he has to rub his face in my stinky old shoes just to remember the good times.

There is just not enough of me to go around. And I am so tired.

We went to the bookstore today, and oh my did we have a good time!

This was our first bookstore trip since we got home. There are many many many things I love about shopping and eating and socializing and hanging out in Jackson Heights, but book shopping is something we have to leave the neighborhood to do. Which is probably why I waited this long to do it.

Oh my. Book shopping is one of the great joys of life. Today I feel like I shared with my daughter a tradition passed on from my beloved parents. And I feel that she already shares my love of books, and of the written word. She responds joyfully to the rhythmic prose of so many children's books. She points to her favorite pictures, and seems to follow some simple plots. She still tries to turn the pages at her own pace... and sometimes goes in the wrong direction. Clearly the whole concept of story and letters and words and sequence are still a little too complex to grasp. But we have already established a passion for many aspects of the wonders contained in books.

And sometimes, they also taste really good.

So the doctor said it was time to take Liana off of formula and give her regular milk. Susana said that a month ago, but I waited for a doctor to tell me.

The transition yesterday seemed uneventful. I warmed the milk a bit, put in a little rice cereal, just like I did with her formula, and honestly, she didn’t seem to know the difference. Those of you who remember a few months ago when we had the oat cereal faux pax with the formula, understand why I was concerned.

The only change I’ve seen, however, is a MAJOR increase in appetite. Now Liana has odd habits. Everyone tells me to get her into routines, but she really fights routines. Some days she eats a lot. Other days, not so much. Today, however, she ate and ate and ate and ate….

7:30 AM – raisins and cheerios while mom is in the shower – sippy cup full of water too

8:00 AM – left over macaroni and cheese, followed by cantaloupe and blueberries. And some crackers. And apple juice in a sippy cup.

11:30 AM – Lunch at a nice Colombian restaurant. Mom had the soup and salad special, which came with rice and fried plantain and arepa (Colombian corn cake.) Liana at about 1/3 of a plantain. About 4-5 heaping tablespoons of rice. Some carrots from mommy’s soup. Some beets from mommy’s salad. Some yummy but unidentified root veggies from mommy’s soup. About 1/3 of a small arepa. Oh. And then lots of soup broth. Which my friend was feeding her, but she decided to throw rice onto each spoonful. Orange juice in a sippy cup.

1:00 milk instead of formula. Followed by urgent urgent urgent demands for raisins. She’s hungry again???

First doctor's visit yesterday. Liana did wonderfully. Mom was a wreck. The doctor, who is a specialist in international adoptions and problems common to adopted children, said that Liana was healthy (pending a few more tests of course), doing extremely well developmentally. She went on to say that Liana is "hyper-vigilant" but not obsessive/compulsive. I had never heard the term hyper-vigilant, but I think it is an accurate assessment. Her pre-sleep rituals (close all door, drawers, windows, etc.), the way she notices and is somewhat obsessed with something new in a room, the way that she fights sleep, etc. The doctor said that this is not uncommon in adopted children, especially those who were previously in a structured foster care situation, and then suffered the loss of the foster family. She continues to fear loss, and as a result is, well, hyper-vigilant.

The appointment was followed by Liana's first subway ride home after the doctor. She loved it! I still don't have the system down. I knew that the entrance had an elevator, but I went through the wrong door and had strangers holding the stroller on the escalator while I held Liana. But it was really a milestone. We've been running around in taxis, which we can do whenever we need to. But it is good to know that the train is do-able. The 74th street stop, junction of the E, F, R, G, V and 7 trains, has an elevator. The 82nd street stop, which is closer to home, does not have an elevator. So I'll be using the 74th street station for a while.

The buses are do-able too. However, I will have to have the stroller folded and over my shoulder to get on the bus. The stroller (everyone told me to get the McClaren!) weighs 11 pounds, and supposedly can be folded with one hand. I can't fold it at all without assistance, but in time I'll have all of my systems down. By the summer I am sure that Liana will be able to walk up and down the bus steps while holding my hand, and step onto the escalators while holding my hand, and I'll be able to toss the 11 pound stroller over my shoulder and we'll be off!

In other news, we are starting daycare on Monday. I'm a wreck. We are just doing three short days a week to start. After looking at a gazillion places with lots of different options, I decided on a small, in-home licensed day care in the neighborhood. We are going to try it out, and see how it goes. The woman speaks Spanish with the kids, and is a sort of grandmotherly type. Liana adored her immediately. They danced cumbia, which of course was a hit. The living room is set up all for daycare... with little tables and little chairs and lots of toys. She takes care of two 2-year olds and a 4-year old. The ages of the kids are very similar to the ages of the kids in Liana's foster care, so I hope she feels comfortable. I told the woman about the problems with Liana and sleep, and she sniffed. She has little hammock/cots for the kids. She says she feeds them lunch, leads them in, dims the light, tucks them in and they sleep. Period. Liana worships older kids, so I am hoping when she sees them sleeping she will sleep.

Wish me luck. And calm. And eventually, sleep for all!

Well my new favorite weekly event is toddler happy hour at Novo!!

What fun!

Parents and toddlers and great drinks and yummy food and a plush yet comfortable environment! Who could ask for more? At peak time, there were certainly more than a dozen toddlers and at least 20 parents. A great mess is made, but the staff take it all in stride.

Haven't taken Liana out to a bar at night since we got to NY. (Haha. Orinal blog readers will know all about taking Liana to the lounge bar in the Marriott and off to live Marimba events in Antigua) But now it looks like we have a weekly event! And I really like Novo. And since they are so very friendly to kids, (Liana and Linda and I went there a couple of weeks ago and Liana threw a plate and broke it and they were very nice) I might even try going there on one of the nights that they have live music. Been meaning to try out live music nights at Natives too. They say they are kid friendly.

But toddler happy hour is a kick! Liana, when alone with me, is needy. She must be held and entertained and played with. In a crowd, however, the kid is a regular social butterfly. She can wander socially from table to table, doing the toddler equivalent of small talk. Or she can coyly hold her drink (pineapple juice in a sippy cup) and watch the activities from a seat or corner. No one could believe she had only been in the country a month. She looked like she attended affairs like this all the time. And on a certain level, I guess she did! She lived in busy foster home with lots of kids and extended family wandering in and out all the time.

We woke up this morning, and the first thing Liana said was "You know mom, we've lived in NY a month already, and you've never even taken me to Times Square. I mean, kids from Minnesota come to NY for three days and get to go to Times Square. So what's up mom?

Well, maybe she didn't say it quite like that.

Actually, Liana doesn't really talk much at all. But I'm pretty sure that is what she would have said to me this morning if she could talk.

So off we went to the Times Square Toys R Us.

The ferris wheel was kind of odd and intimidating. Actually the shelves were the best part. She picked out another really ugly doll. This one says mama and makes different faces. I also got her an aquadoodle, and some refrigerator magnets and diaper bags. Mostly we went because we are always in search of indoor activities that are warm and entertaining.