This morning while walking down the cobblestone street in the direction of the surreal volcano which sits on the horizon, I commented to my friend that years from now, we will look back on these days as an idyllic time in our lives. Delicious meals served in courtyard gardens, surrounded by the colors of the woven fabric and the painted masks and the flowers and the hummingbirds, followed by walks in the park, gazing at fountains and chatting with artisans about their wares and their lives. Then back to games around the courtyard, with toys scattered about and children squealing in delight.

I imagine I will forget the details of ordinary life. Like today. I returned to a clean apartment because after having trashed the place for nearly a week, I asked the nice woman who cleans here if she could try and make some order out of the disaster area that has become home. Oh my. We walked in to orderly toys, fresh sheets, clean smells, and not a sticky surface anywhere! Liana and I played for a bit and had lunch before I decided it was naptime. I normally mix rice cereal with her formula, but since variety is the spice of life, I picked up some oat cereal to try out. Well, it turns out she HATES oat cereal. As she took the bottle to her mouth, her face wrinkled in disgust, and she spit the offensive liquid in my direction and screamed. I quickly ran to make her a proper formula with the proper cereal, and accidentally spilled the box of offensive oat mixture all over my spotless floors. No time to deal with that, however, but the princess’s current displeasure was so profound that her howls could certainly be heard all the way to the park. I quickly offered her the proper mixture, which she put to her mouth and tasted, but immediately dropped the bottle and again began to howl. Oh no. What had I been thinking? That was the juice bottle, not the milk and cereal bottle. I thought maybe, just this once, we could take our milk and cereal in the other bottle, since the right bottle contained the offensive oat mixture. I held her and cuddled her and put the bottle to her lips, but my multiple offenses were compounding, and beyond unforgivable. I quickly turned on the TV to Discovery Kids en espanol, (yeah. Uh huh. No TV until she is three? Did I tell you I threw that idea out on day three?), strapped her into her stroller with a toy, and ran to the kitchen to wash out the proper bottle containing the offensive oat mix, carefully trying not to step on the spilled mix that I had left on the floor what seemed like hours ago. The cartoons were not to her liking, but I was able to redeem myself somewhat with the proper mixture served in the proper bottle. She drank some, and then indicated that she wanted to be held and rocked. I put on music and sang and rocked her, and she fell asleep with her head on my shoulder. As I put her on the bed, she whimpered a bit, but I patted her tummy, and covered her uncovered toes with a soft blanket, and soon, she was sleeping like an angel, and I was off to borrow a broom to clean up my mess.

Yes. Years from now, I will remember the gardens and the fountains and the birds and the volcanoes and the hugs and the giggles and the first steps and the amazing discoveries of how to put something inside of something else, and how funny it is when I touch her nose and say nariz! And then touch my nose and say nariz! And then touch some other kid’s nose and say nariz! And then touch her nose again and say nariz! And how fun and funny and silly that all seems. And then the wonder when she reaches out and touches my nose, and then her own. Yes. Those will be my memories of these days.

On the topic of selective memory…. Any of you out there remember the situation in Casa Quivera? A few months ago, an orphanage here in Antigua was raided in hopes of finding a child who had been kidnapped months before. The child was not found in Casa Quivera, but the international press swooped down and printed stories about kidnapped children being liberated from behind a walled building. Ummmm. It turns out none of the children were kidnapped. In fact, they were all being very well taken care of by an orphanage with more than a decade’s experience, which had been operating legally under Guatemalan law, exceeding childcare standards for similar institutions. But those facts did not make much press. The children, most of whom had prospective adoptive parents awaiting the completion of their paperwork, were filmed being taken out in the rain by armed men, and their whereabouts was unknown for months. Frantic families have been waiting for news of these children for months. Each case was put under unprecedented scrutiny, and each case was found to be not only the legitimate but also properly and legally documented. A few days ago, all of the children were finally returned to the Hogar, and PGN (the attorney general’s office) has been instructed to proceed with their cases, which had previously been frozen.

I know several families who have adopted from Casa Quivera, and speak highly of the institution. I also have a forum friend who has suffered terribly during this dreadful mess. Yesterday, she posted pictures of the beautiful twins who will soon join her family, safe and back at the hogar. I do not know how to describe my emotions surrounding this situation. My case has been complex, and riddled with its own problems, but I cannot even imagine what the families of these children have been through. My relief at the return of these children to the hogar, and the promise that their cases will continue, is a burden lifted from my tired shoulders. Hey Kathy…. years from now, may your suffer from selective memory as well… with vivid memories of the surreal volcanoes and the idyllic hum of the humming birds, and most importantly the sounds of the giggles of your beautiful children, and may the details of this ordeal fade in your mind.

Well yesterday sure turned out to be a day to forget. By early afternoon Liana was crying and whining and nothing could distract her for more than two or three minutes, and then the weeping started again. She was EXHAUSTED but would not would not would not sleep. She wanted to be held. She wanted to be let down. She wanted to be held again. She wanted the botttle. She threw the bottle. She cried that she wanted the bottle she just threw.

I really did not know what to do. Since she had not had a breakdown like this before (except for the first few days here when she was grieving her loving foster parents, and even then it was not this long) I was really at a loss. Was she sick? In pain? In which case I should hold her and love her and let her know that I am there for her. Or was she testing me? You have no idea how many time she threw things, and I bent over to pick them up while she was still in my arms. My back is killing me. Was she hungry? I fed her and fed her and fed her? Did she have gas? She seemed to, so I got the baby gas medicine I brought with me, but I had to wrestle with her to read the instructions because she wanted to play with the box. I was so at a loss. Should I toss her in the crib (she sleeps in bed with me, but we have a crib in the room that she HATES) and let her cry it out? Should I keep bending over to pick things up and try to amuse her, in hopes of moments of peace? If she is in pain, if her tummy hurts, I should distract her and hold her and love her and let her know that she is safe. If she is just in a pissy mood, refusing to sleep, I should not give in. Is she really still hungry? Did I feed her to much, which is why she has a belly ache? What am I doing wrong?

By nighttime I was close to tears. My neighbor dragged us out to eat, and Liana continuted to be cranky cranky nasty nasty in the restaurant, throwing things and screaming and not a smile was to be found. Well, there was a brief series of smiles when she threw a balloon for mommy to chase and bend over and pick up, but the rest of the time she was nasty. My friend put her on her lap and fed her while I sat and listlessly poked at my pasta. By the time I got to bed, my back was so sore that I could not even get comfortable, so I had to borrow some ibuprofen.

And this morning? We woke up a snuggly. I gave her her bottle, and she climbed on top of me and bounced a bit (ouch... still sore) and then snuggled up with her head on my belly. Nothing could be sweeter. She didn't give me a hard time washing her hair. (Ask me about bathing drama....) And then out we went! Yummy breakfast. Giggles and smiles and hugs and lots of fun things to point at. Practiced walking. Hung out in the park. Bought some earrings and a necklace from a woman who was soooo thrilled to make a sale. Came home and ran around the courtyard. Had a nice lunch of bananas and cheerioes and then I gave her her bottle and held her in my arms. She did that adorable thing that she does, holding the bottle with one hand, and putting her finger in my mouth with the other hand, as if she is feeding me. And now she is fast asleep.

Ok. So my Danish friend told me that they had a great children’s choir during Sunday mass at the cathedral, and asked me if I wanted to go. Sure! I mean, I’ve already brought Liana to bars to hear music, might as well hit the cathedral.

Of course we arrive late. My friend explains that the children sit up front. She meant the kids singing, but what do I know? So we push our way up to the second pew, past hundreds and hundreds of devotees. There is one man sitting at one end of the pew, and one woman on the other end, with plenty of room in the middle, and so mid-sermon, we excuse ourselves and plop down. Ummmm….. I seemed to have brought the only stroller in the church, so we left it beside the pew.

Now the music was wonderful. It was not only a choir, but a full children’s orchestra. And Liana loved the music. The sermons, however, she found quite dull. So she wanted to be on my shoulder. No. On the floor. No. On my lap. No. She took off one shoe. And waved it around for everyone to see and squealed gleefully. Have I told you how excellent the acoustics were? No, on the floor. No. On the lap. One sock off. Threw the sock on the floor. Up on my shoulder. Now!!! Let’s take off the other shoe. Have you every cuddled a restless octopus? As I tried to retrieve the shoes before they went flying towards the father himself, I caused great offense to the princess, who howled in what sounded like agony. Have I told you how good the acoustics were?

Well, my friend stuck her daughter’s bottle in my daughter’s mouth, which bought us precious minutes of silence. Several people around us were giggled, amused and sympathetic, but the fellow next to me just exuded displeasure with the whole spectacle.

Finally we left, walking down the middle isle just as several angelic little boys were carrying candles down that same isle, in full view of hundreds (thousands?) of Antigua’s most outstanding residents, most of whom will clearly recognize my face as that of the gringa who disrupted mass.

Afterwards we hung out with the vendors who sell street food to the after-church crowd. My friend had something to eat while the two year old daughter of one of the vendor’s entertained Liana, and I made chit chat with the locals, who, unlike the church crowd, seemed to think we were funny and delightful.

On another note, have I told you what an adventurous eater this kid is? We went to a Mexican restaurant last night, and I ordered mole poblano for me, and a crepe for the princess. But guess what!!!! The kid LOVES mole poblano!!!!! Picante tambien? Are you reading this Yolanda? As my favorite poblana, I want you to know just how cool my daughter really is!!!!

Hey blog-readers and princess Liana-fans. A number of people have asked me why I set up my blog in such a way that readers cannot leave comments. Basically, I have heard horror stories about blogs being vandalized, and I decided to just play it safe. I know that there is an option that allows me to screen comments before posting them, but that seemed like a chore, and goodness.... I have enough chores as it is! There is also an option to make everyone register before viewing, but I HATE registering at every site I just want to check out, so I decided that option would be a chore for you!

This said, I REALLY LOVE feedback! So feel free to email me with witty comments, suggestions, or just to laugh at how silly we are!

Well Antigua continues to be lovely. Seem to have a good deal going with my neighbor. She cooks us yummy dinners, and I take her and her daughter to breakfast! This morning we tried out the famous place that everyone recommends... and we were both disappointed. Yeah, it was gorgeous and artsy and it was fun to walk through a bookstore to get to the garden where we ate by a fountain. The place was jam packed with Americans and Europeans. When I asked the waitress to fill Liana's bottle with pineapple juice, she said she would bring the juice and I could pour it in myself. Um. OK. I can do that. But then she brings the coffee and water and everything before the juice, and by this time I am carrying Liana around and pointing at the fountain and the art and trying to keep a very hungry little girl occupied. By the time I put her in the high chair, she expected something NOW NOW NOW. And I poured the juice, a little in the bottle, a little on the table, had to ask for napkins to wipe up my mess...and the waitress wants to know if we are ready to order. Well.... I haven't had a chance to look at the menu yet! The food was excellent, service iffy. And as expected, over priced. Hot sauce was requested 3 or 4 times. My friend had to ask for water a few times... mine arrived with my coffee.

Well after breakfast my friends went back to the hotel to rest because they had not had a good night. Liana and I continued doing the whole tourist thing. We went to the "typical" craft market, clearly set up for tourists, (as opposed to the wild market where we bough veggies the other day), and looked at all of the wares and listened to piped in music. Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer and I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas. I think that those are traditional Guatemalan songs.

Then we ran around the park and looked at the fountain, and I told at least 6 boys under the age of 8 years old that I did not want my shoes shined. One frowned and pointed out that they were very dirty. He was right, of course.

I was told that there were some street musicians playing up by the arch, and so we walked in that direction. We know that the princess LOVES music! By the time we got there, the princess was fast asleep in her stroller. Now, I cannot describe to you what it is like going up and down cobblestone streets in a stroller. Sometimes we just get stuck, and I need to go to the front and pull. When we go up and down steep curbs, she slides all over the place. But for some reason I will never understand, she managed to fall asleep! So we came back to the apartment and I tossed her on the bed, where she continues to sleep like an angel.

Oh my. I forgot to tell you that yesterday my lawyer called and told me that Liana's birthmother signed off on the adoption for the fourth and final time. Although I knew that there was always a possibility that she could change her mind at any point, I really felt that if she was going to do so, it would be at the countless DNA tests in which she had to hold Liana and pose for a picture together after a saliva swab was taken from each of them.

As many of you know, I have been advised by my attorney to NOT have contact with Liana's birthmom until after the adoption is complete. With so many allegations of corruptions and baby selling and women being coerced into giving up their children, it is best for me to be able to say honestly that I have never met her. However, I hope to have contact with her after the adoption is complete, and if she is willing, I would like her to be a part of Liana's life.

So little one....it is you and me forever, huh?

Another GORGEOUS day in Antigua. Blue skies. Cool in the shade, warm in the sun. This is the view outside of the gate to the apartment complex, with the volcano in the background. And here are Liana and I trying to walk in the central park, which I keep calling the plaza and I want to keep calling the zocalo.

I really like courtyard life. I keep my door open most of the day, and people wander by and chat. This afternoon Liana and I are going to go sit in the grassy are in the back, and see if mommy is less stressed about seeing Liana try and walk and fall on the grass instead of the tiles or cement.

Have I told you how in love I am with this princess? She is so funny and joyous and silly and loving. And she notices everything. In addition to going crazy over music, she LOVES art. Sometimes we have to stop and examine a painting or statue. When she discovered that there were carvings on the bench outside of our room, we spent ages examing them. And of course she loves weavings and embroidery. She especially enjoys images of people and animals and fruit! Good thing her room is animal themed. Thank you William!!!!

Busy first full day in Antigua! We both slept like babies last night, and woke up hungry and full of energy. Got a new morning routine down. Change Liana's diaper, then put her in the stroller and roll her into the bathroom while I take a shower with the curtain half open so she doesn't get scared. Then I toss her into the high chair and give her a baby cracker while I make coffee. She eats her cracker and drinks her bottle while I drink my coffee. Ok! This is a routine that works.

This morning we then headed off to the central plaza, and found a nice restaurant. Had eggs and black beans and fried plantains and goat cheese and watermelon! And Liana had pineapple juice in her bottle. We watched the world go by and laughed and laughed. A woman selling woven and embroidered items came by with her 4-year old daughter. I told her I had just arrived, and that I was not buying anything today. She told me she is from a village 8 kilometers away, and that she and 15 family members weave and embroider, and that she and her daughter come to Antigua to sell their goods. She said that business was bad, and that the police would chase her away if she set her wares out the way she used to. She said that many stores had opened selling goods like hers, and the stores did not like the street vendors. She asked about Liana, and said that she was lucky to be going to the US. She said life is hard for the indigenous people of Guatemala. She asked where Liana was born, and I told her Mixco. (Mixco is a Guatemala City slum, where many refugees settled during the civil war.) She shook her head and said that Liana was not from Mixco, that she was indigenous, just like them. I told her that I agreed, and that I was going to have a scientific test done (mitochondrial dna) to see where Liana's ancestors were from. The woman seemed pleased. I asked her daughter if she liked watermelon, and when she nodded, so I cut her a slice. I asked the woman if her daughter was going to go to school. She sighed. She said her daughter had been born with a deformed ear, and that she was deaf on one side. She said that school is expensive, and that the economy was bad, and that life was hard. I guess that was a no.

The camera battery was dead, so you have to wait until tomorrow to see pictures of lovely Antigua. Here is an old Guatemala City one.

Ok... Just had to post a couple more cute Guatemala City pictures of the princess before we move on to what I am sure will be lots of great pics of Antigua.

Found a sweet little apartment just a few blocks from the central plaza. It was an exhausting day, packing and unpacking and dealing with a new environment and a mixed up schedule. But we are finally settled in and the princess is fast asleep...which is good since she didn't get a nap. The apartment is one of eight around a central courtyard. It would go as a one-bedroom in Manhattan, a hotel suite with a kitchen anywhere else in the world. There are a few families here, and a really nice woman from Denmark who is adopting a precious little girl took me to the corner store to get staples, and is going to take me to the big supermarket tomorrow. It is quite different going from hotel like (with room service and a selection of restaurants) to a furnished apartment. When we got back from the store I realized I didn't have dish soap or paper towels. M neighbor gave me paper towels, and hung out and kept Liana occupied while I made her a bottle and a bite to eat. She is a little anxious, and it was a stressful day. But it is a lovely little place... just like I imagined. Very old, tile floors, woven beadspreads, blue and white tiles in the kitchen, details that let me know I am really in Latin America. I'll probably be here about 6 weeks, and commute into Guatemala City for the few things I need to do. Then I'll go back to Guatemala City for the last embassy appointments. I'm exhausted, and ready to collapse myself. I'll tell you more about beautiful Antigua tomorrow!!!!

Ok, I think we have done simply everything that there is to do at the Marriott. We have hung out in all of the restaurants. We have walked around the lobby. We have passed hours in the playroom. We've taken a chair out on the balcony. We've listened to music in the bar. And we have even done a little electrical work in the room. Ummmm.... I really thought she was just going to turn the lights on and off. The kid is quick, huh?

So what does all of this mean? It means it is time to go to Antigua!!!! We leave tomorrow, and I could not be more ready to get out of here. I still don't know where we are staying, but we have a few possiblities, and I would really rather see a couple of places in person before making a decision.

Last night we went to the fancy Italian restaurant here at the Marriott. It was really nice. We sat at the table for pretty close to two hours!!!!! Liana ate fruit and cheese and bread and some of mom's pasta. She learned how to raise her bottle to mom's wine glass and say "salud," which she thinks is really funny. We played peek-a-boo for a while, and then she initiated a new round of peek-a-boo by putting the napkin over her head and waiting for me to say "donde esta Liana? donde esta Liana?" and when she pulled the napkin off, I exclaimed PEEK-A-BOO!!! I've got to tell you, this game never gets old as far as the princess is concerned.

We also looked at books. I have to tell you, one of the things that I thought we would be doing at this time that we are not doing is reading. She likes books, and she likes to turn the pages and look at the pictures, but when I try to hold the book and read the words, she wrestles the book from me. If I insist and hold on to the book and read the words, she gets frustrated, and either keeps trying to get the book, or she finds something else in her reach to throw on the floor. She throws things on the floor when she is in a pissy mood. Well, little by little.

Tomorrow we start the next phase of our life together in the beautiful little city of Antigua!

OOOOOH!!!!!!! My lawyer just called!!!! I am out of PGN! For those of you who don't know the lingo, that means that the Guatemalan attorney general's office has signed off on my case! I cannot even believe it. I thought PGN was closed today because of the elections.

I might be home for Christmas. But I would take New Years!

Just a few more steps, and Liana is mine by Guatemalan law. Then we start the steps to finish up the process on the US side.

Well knock me down with a feather. The Prensa Libre headline is Triunfa Colom! Now I have to admit I don’t know a whole lot about the guy, (business man, former mayor, considered center-left) but quite frankly, I assumed that his opponent, the general, was a shoe-in.

A few nights ago I met a guy at the bar… the night that Liana and I went to listen to the sax player. Well, he said he was semi-retired from the State Department, but that they still sent him to conferences occasionally, and that he was here for the Guatemalan National Conference of English Teachers, which started the following week.

Huh?

Now I’ve spent quite a bit of time in Central America, and I’ve met lots of guys who he reminded me of this fellow, whose purpose it was to ensure that elections or whatever went just the way they had been planned to go. They usually had better stories though… So I assumed that his presence meant that the US-trained general was to be elected on Sunday. But I was mistaken.

Ok, I have promised myself (and others) that I would NOT talk politics on this blog. But I could not let the election results pass without mentioning them.

Also, I must mention that the elections were hailed as a great success by international observers, who report that there were NO incidents of election-related violence. This is contrasted with

Hopefully we are off to Antigua soon. I am climbing the walls here at the Marriott.
This morning we went to the mall and bought a stroller. It is one of those sturdy, clunky, things, which should fare well on cobblestone. Given how Liana responded bouncing around the cobblestone-like paths at the zoo, I am sure she will be a trooper bouncing around the streets of Antigua in her new stroller.